Sunday, March 1, 2015

Could Life Be Anymore Stressful? (Done in my Chandler voice from Friends)

Trying to keep my flares at bay is not an easy thing when life throws a lot of stress your way.  I'm still trying to deal with the fact that my son is leaving in exactly one month.  I am still very proud of him and wished I had the guts he has when I was his age.
My boys at Shane's 11th Birthday Dinner!
That stress is bad enough, but I'm worried about my cousin who has "Stage  2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer (that means while the cancer started in a duct, the cancer cells have moved outside the duct-that is what makes it invasive."

My cousin is only a year younger than me, but she is one of the strongest women I know.  She lives quite a distance away from the rest of the family, but has her husband, children, and her brother and sister and their families with her.  I support every decision she makes and I know that her faith will pull her through this.  I believe she will win this war, but it's still hard not to worry about her and what she is going through.  I didn't know how to support her from so far away, and then it hit me.  I bought what I call my "Supporting Lolita" outfit to wear on Fridays, and I got a new tattoo in her honor and for those who have gone through this horrible disease (personally or as a support system).

I also got it for my Grandma Raquel who passed away when I was 18 from complications due to bone cancer.  She was diagnosed when I was 3 and told she had only 6 months to live.  She fought for 15 years because she was determined to see me graduate from high school.  She was bedridden when I graduated, but video cameras had just come out so my parents rented one so they could tape it for her.  She lasted 2 months after my graduation and made me promise I wouldn't get married until I graduated from college.  Her strength was incredible also!


My body has been nice to me during this time, but we are also getting ready for the state exam at the end of the month.  I have several students who I worry about.  I have been working with these kids everyday (including Saturdays), and yet nothing seems to be working.  I have seen a few light bulbs come on, but several that remain dim.  I know they can do it, but trying to convince them of that is another story.  I hate this test and I truly don't think it's fair to put this much pressure on an 11 year old.  I also don't think that many of our people in charge (our Governor for example) could pass this test.

Oh,  and to add to the stress, we decided to adopt a puppy yesterday for my youngest son.  A very huge 10 month old puppy who weighs 81 pounds.  He's a Black Lab/Newfoundland mix and is the sweetest dog ever. He is also very active and wants to eat everything in sight.  Our yorkie seems to be okay with him unless he jumps up on one of us and then he goes into overprotective mode.  What Willy doesn't seem to understand is that Dante outweighs him by 70 pounds.  So far Dante just looks at Willy when he tries snapping at him.  Hopefully Willy realizes we're not in danger and just chills out.  Shane loves his new dog, but they are going to doggy school during Spring Break because right now Dante takes Shane for a walk instead of the other way around.
Shane and Dante

Dante and Willy

Stress be damned, I will deal with whatever pain Fibro throws my way and get through the next few months.  I will handle my son leaving, I will continue believing in my cousin, I will get my kids through this stupid test, and I'll make sure Dante doesn't eat Willy.  I pity the flare that tries to get in my way.  Ain't nobody got time for that! :-)

Gentle Hugs,

P.S.  Did you notice I've lost 29 pounds! WooHoo! That has helped with some of my pain, and I have a little more energy.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Trying to keep a flare at bay!

My oldest son informed my husband and I that he is moving out on April 1st, and going to San Francisco to live with a friend from high school and her boyfriend .  Apparently they have a house they share with 2 other people.  He is going to live there rent free until he has a job, and then he will pitch in for utilities.

I knew this day was coming, but I really hoped it would be a couple of more years.  I was a complete basket case when he told us, but I'm doing a little better right now.  Luckily work has kept my mind busy, so I haven't been dwelling on it too much.  I did end up with a major headache, and some of my trigger points are causing some problems.  I'm determined not to stress over this right now so I don't end up in a major flare, but I know come April 1st I'm going to really start stressing about him being gone.

The one good thing about this is, I now know where I'm going to for summer vacation.  I'll have to be there the week of August 11th to celebrate his 20th birthday.  My mother is really stressing about her first grandchild flying the coop.  She's determined that we will be visiting him at least every 2 months.  I guess I'll be taking long weekends off of work every 2 months to see my son. 

Why must they grow up so fast?